UGH! So does 2 posts in 2 days make up for being a day late?
Today I went to assessment lab and learned respiratory assessment and practiced vital signs. Made a few people laugh and encouraged others. I was feeling pretty good. Went home, washed the love bugs off the car, took a shower and studied.
Had to take my 7-yo daughter to the doctor for her well child check up. I had concerns as she has been having some underarm odor for about the last 6 months (turned 7 in July). It started after she started drinking milk every day at school so I was wondering if it was the hormones in the milk or something. I asked the Nurse Practitioner about it and she said she would check her out and let me know what she thinks. So....I watch her examine my daughters chest and private areas, do a scoliosis check and then she tells me...."Well, she is starting to develop a little bit of breast tissue and she's getting an hourglass figure with very prominent hips." I'm sitting there trying not to see it but I do. It's too soon. She's too young. She told me she didn't expect her to start her period for at least two more years. That would be when I started mine...at 9, on Christmas Eve, in third grade! At least she would be 9 in 4th grade so that's a little better but still entirely too early. The NP is sending her for a bone scan to make sure her bone age is matching her chronological age. If she's maturing too fast and hits puberty too soon it can apparently stunt her growth and she won't reach her full adult height. She's already 50.5" tall at 7 (90th percentile) for her age but I don't want her to be that height for her adult life! If the bone age is off they will send her to an endocrinologist for further testing.
So....if that's not enough on my plate I end up in a screaming fight with my mom. I am currently living with my parents (at 36 yo) because I needed help with my daughter while I'm in school and financial aid wouldn't cover an apartment. I don't want to be here as it is but I have no choice right now. Anyway....my mom told me she would do my laundry for me to help me out. I NEVER ASKED NOR EXPECTED HER TO DO IT! Great, that's nice. I appreciate it. So last night when I got home from my boyfriends for the weekend I put my scrubs and a few shorts/shirts in the presorted piles she had. Tonight I discover when I went to put my daughters clothes in the hamper that my clothes are all there.
As I walked through the living room to go wash them she says "I'll do Kyra's clothes." I said, "Oh, but not mine?" She said that since I could go off and have fun all weekend and not let them see Kyra all weekend that I could do my own. Fine, just freakin let me know that. I was here for 3 hours this afternoon that I could've had it done. She didn't get out of the bed till 4:30 this afternoon. I was furious. She is doing a power trip and trying to put my daughter in the middle of it. She's mean and evil and I cannot stand it here. Thank God I have every other week with my boyfriend when we don't have our kids. That's my sanity saver. Otherwise I end up feeling like I'm in high school again and have to approve where I go and what I do through my parents. She doesn't care if I live here....she just wants my daughter. She doesn't understand the custody agreement doesn't include HER visitation. She is lucky that she sees her as much as she does because we live here every other week. Most grandparents are lucky to see their grandkids for holidays! I can't win. When I would let them keep her for a night and go to my boyfriends then I got a guilt trip about "She misses you. You don't care about her. You only care about yourself." So I take her with me (he has a daughter the same age and they're best friends) and then I get griped at because I'm taking her away from them! I can't win. Now I'm supposed to be studying and I just want to scream. I HATE IT HERE! How can I deal with this for the next two years. I have tried talking to her and telling her that I can't have these guilt trips and power plays for the next 2 years and she just doesn't get it. If I could win the lottery and didn't need my pell grant then perhaps my situation could change but right now I'm stuck. I have to make this sacrifice for the next two years to get help with my daughter but I just don't know how I'm gonna handle it. I'd almost rather live in my car than put up with this craziness. Now I basically hide out in my 12 x 12 room and hope she forgets I'm here.
Ok, sorry. Just ranting and worrying aloud. I'm very open about my life so apologies if I offend anyone.
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